Je me sentais, a la fois, la joie et la tristesse.

Oh Paris, Paris, Paris. I have had a frantic wonderful week, with a visit from little brother and (GREAT) girlfriend, and a weekend filled with aunt, uncle and small cousins. I have done alot of walking up and down the Seine and alot of marvelling at the stoicism of people queueing for EVERYTHING, except the Orangerie which was mercifully and miraculously empty, even on a saturday afternoon. People visiting Pairs, LISTEN. The Louvre is scary. and huge. and exhausting. And sad, because no one seems to appreciate it for what it is, and everyone in their just wants to get to the bloody Mona Lisa, ignoring the Goyas and the Carvaggios along the way, not to mention the countless other galleries of prehistoric art, greek pottery, and Egyptology. Musée D'Orsay is undeniably brilliant, because it is clever, and has a wonderful distilled collection of pretty much every fab impressionist painting you could think of. BUT it is NOT worth a two hour queue. BUY your ticket in advance and skip the queue. Feel smug, look at pretty paintings, then go to the Orangerie and marvel marvel marvel at Monet and how calm it all feels after the hubbub of d'Orsay. You have been told... Gosh I can be bossy!

Showing people Paris, especially people who have never seen it before, is a wonderful thing. It makes me feel smug, happy, proud, excited, and puppyishly-eager. Look LOOK LOOK HERE is the BEST Falafel in the world, right on MY little Parisian street! And LOOK, here is the river, and Notre Dame, and each bridge with its own special meaning and bit of history! And there, of course, is the Eiffel Tower, which alwyas pops up JUST when I've forgotten all about it. Oh, and we simply must have a macaroon from Ladurée or J.P. Hevin, because, well, the ones in Harrods are not the same and seem more expensive in a weird way. And then let's go to the Fripe (vintage) shops near me, because you never know, you might just find the perfect summer dress or fur coat (it must be said here that my time in Paris has been nothing if not a rude awakening for my halcyonic visions of thrift shopping.). And then let's eat in a french bistro, because they are yummy, and reliable and the meat divine.

I am so happy here, so happy in the strangest way. I am unhappy in some ways, far from my group of uni and home friends, with only a handful of people to hang out with, bored by my job, and scare shitless about finals but doing nothing about it. However, in other ways I am happier than I have ever been. Separation from friends and comfortable and established environments, coupled with prolonged time by myself has given me the space to try and work out long buried ambitions ( a definite work in progress) and taught me that only I can fill my time how I wish to. I may not have always got it quite right (the first three months here, my weekends were spent watching american television and weeping), but I am getting there, and it is very satisfying. For once, I feel in control of alot of things - not just my outer emotions, but my inner ones as well, my eating habits (WOO WEIGHTWATCHERS WOO), my habits in general and my daily life. It really is incredibly liberating. Now if only I didn't MISS my best friends, scattered from Birmingham to Hampshire to San Diego (FAR TOO FAR AWAY AND THE TIME DIFFERENCE IS KILLING ME), and long to be able to just call them up without some protracted 'what time shall we skype' arrangement, I'd say life was pretty perfect.

It doesn' want me to uplaod my photos.BOO BLOGGER BOO.
Title taken from Pairs Je t'aime, a film worth watching for the end sequence (from which the quote is taken) alone.